Translations to American English

Business Fact:

Americans typically shun products with broken English

If your website was originally written in a foreign language but has been translated to English, you may not have a correct translation.  The English language is complex.  Most translation software fails to produce a 100% correct document.  I have found out that a lot of English versions of manuals and/or websites have been written and reviewed by someone originally from their country but schooled in the U.S.  They are given full trust to translate the original language into English with the assumption that they can do a perfect job having been educated in the U.S..  In these cases, most likely the translation is not perfect.  It is a difficult job for many people that have lived their entire life in the U.S.  In fact, you still may have many, many errors.  We see it all the time.  We can only guess that the translation was made by software or by a native from the foreign country.  If your text is for the English speaking nations, then please allow us to read and correct your English version so that it will be readable by the English population as if it were originally written in English.  This will drastically improve your chances of success in the U.S. marketplace.

For a sample of text that didn't make the translation to English very well, read these:

Mistranslations in foreign lands.

These start out with the ones we have all heard and not very funny.  When you get through reading this, you should be holding your sides from the pain.  Grab a hanky, your eyes are gonna need it.

"Bite the wax tadpole."
-Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese

"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."
-"Pepsi Comes Alive" as originally translated into Chinese

"Special today---no ice cream."
-In a Swiss mountain inn

"Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis."
-In a Tokyo Hotel

"Please to bathe inside the tub."
-In a Japanese Hotel Room

"The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
-In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby

"Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
-In a Leipzig Elevator

"To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
-In a Belgrade Hotel Elevator

"We take your bags and send them in all directions."
-In a Copenhagen airline ticket office

"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."
-In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers

"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
-In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery

"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
-On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant

"Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup" with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
-On the Menu of a Polish Hotel

"Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
-In a Rhodes tailor shop

"There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.  These were executed over the past two years."
-From the Soviet Weekly

"In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
-In a Vienna hotel

"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
-In a Hotel in Athens

"Stop: Drive Sideways."
-Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan

"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
-From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo

"For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service."
-In a Hong Kong supermarket

"A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
-In an East African newspaper

"Please leave your values at the front desk."
-In a Paris Hotel Elevator

"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
-In a Yugoslavian Hotel

"It is not allow in the hotel room for guest participating in Illicit Arts, banging of firecrackers, gambling and wrestling".  -Hotel Jincheng (Shenyang, China)

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
-In a Japanese Hotel

"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
-Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop

"Drop your trousers here for best results."
-In a Bangkok dry cleaner's

"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
-In a Zurich hotel

"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."
-In a Rome laundry

"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
-In a Tokyo bar

"Would you like to ride on your own ass?"
-Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand

Be sure to read other pages in this series:

Proofreading (Page 1)
History (or how did we get into this mess?) (Page 2)

For any of these issues, please send e-mail.

Be sure to read
"History (or how did we get into this mess?)"

"Quotes from History section:"

Up until recently, the professionals have been responsible for all published text.

"Unfortunately, anyone could become a typesetter"

"Also, anyone could become a writer"

"The webmaster cannot catch them all.  You need outside help!"